Hope

Mt. 8:1-4

I can say to myself that last year was the year when I reached the rock bottom of my faith journey for the past 28 years of my life. Last year I experienced what it was and what is the meaning of being lost.

It all stated before my perpetual profession My mother resigned from her job, then we lost our house, my mother got sick, my brother lost his Catholic faith, one of my sisters had to undergo operation. Then her newly born baby developed heart problem and needed to be hospitalized. My other sister had to be hospitalized with the sickness that we don’t know and not knowing where to get all the money to answer all these needs the family is falling apart. As I was devastated and over-whelmed of what’s happening with my family I lost my edge. Relationships, community life, prayer life and studies all were in a mess. People could not understand me for I myself could not understand my very own self anymore. I felt that I was carrying the whole world in my shoulder. During those times I pray and really prayed, begging God to stop all of these things, but after sleepless nights of praying nothing happened. God seems not to listen to me. Until one day I reached the rock-bottom of my faith… I thought of leaving the seminary and just face the miserable reality of my life. At that moment when I stopped believing… I think I lost my so called faith.

The day before I talked to Fr. Rector to express my intention I locked myself in my room for the whole day not to think over about my decision for I’m already decided but I stayed in my room to savor the last moments of my religious life or for my worst My last moment as a believer. As I was fixing my things I get hold of my sotana tears stated to flow from my eyes. There I fell down on my knees and shouted, cursed and blamed God and ask why, why all this. There while I was lying flat on the floor I felt something extra-ordinary, I felt God was at my side, just at my side whispering words, words that I will never forget. He kept on saying “have faith… have faith and it will move mountain.” In my anger, I said have faith, to whom, to you God? No God I’m over you I’m tired. But he gave me an answer “no not to me john but have faith in yourself don’t lose hope in you!”

Hearing those words made me stop and made me realize that these things are happening to me for I lost one of the most important things in my life and that is hope. I misunderstood what is faith. I was praying, praying to God about the things that I want to happen and not asking him what he wants. I lost my faith for I lost my hope.

There and then I mentioned the most powerful words that I ever found in the Scriptures, “Lord they will be done.” These words are like saying Lord I don’t know what to do anymore please help me. At that moment I felt that God stretched his hand to me and there I received a wonderful gift and that is the gift of hope. A gift that gave me strength to move a little bit of where I was standing and see the mountain in another angle. The moment I received hope I gained once more my faith. Faith is not asking mountain to move but faith asks us to be strong and make a difference in our life and we could only do this if we have hope and that hope is God. I did not lose my faith that day, I did not leave my vocation even though my family is still experiencing the same problems. My mother is still sick, my brother still questions his faith and money still a big problem. I am surviving all of these because I was able to move mountains for I gave God a space to move me even a little bit and see the mountain in a different point of view.

This experience of mine made me connect with the leper in our Gospel of today. He wanted to be free from the sickness, form the suffering that he is experiencing but he never demanded from God he just let God do his will in him. He just hoped that God will save him from his miserable situation. He just said “Lord, if you wish, you can make me clean.” This is if you only wish.

My dear brothers the Gospel today reminds us of how we let God move in our life. Is he the God who follows all your commands or a God to whom you put all your hopes and dreams and you just follow whatever he wills? Do we give the steering wheel to him or we keep on driving wherever we want to go?

Feast of Immaculate Heart of Mary

Mt 6:24-34 “You cannot serve both God and mammon”

What I really love about our Church is that the Church is full of symbolisms and rituals. The point that proves this is what we are celebrating today. Right after the celebration of the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus the church celebrates the feast of the immaculate heart of Mary. I believe that when the church does something it is significant and meaningful. Everything has a purpose symbolically. The Church did not just put the celebration of the immaculate heart today with no reason at all but to bring home a message.

Many might ask why it is called the “Immaculate Heart of Mary?” We could answer this question basing in our Theological studies that it is called “Immaculate heart” for Mary is indeed the Immaculate Virgin as it is defined in our doctrine of faith and no one dared to question it lest if you do, anathema sit! But remember that our faith is a faith seeking for understanding, credo ut intelligam. Saying the dogmatic explanation of this “as a mystery” will not convince many, but if we put a little flesh on it people might buy our answer. So allow me to share my simple reflection about the “immaculate heart”

We Christians particularly Salesians, believe that we are called to pattern our hearts to the sacred heart of Jesus who is meek and humble of heart. We are called to relate with others with meekness and humility especially to the young. And this is where Mary entered the picture. Mary is the first believer, the first disciple of Christ. From the very beginning Mary believed in the holy plan of God when she said “be it done to me according to your word.” She believed that the one she will gave birth is the Son of God, Emmanuel. She put all her heart to the Word of God. This is for me why she is called the “immaculate heart” for her heart is only dedicated in doing the will of God and only the will of God. She put all her trust to his “Son” that he will save the world from sin. Mary did not put any question, anxiety, worries and fear in her heart and she maintained her heart pure… only for God. Mary sings in her heart the Psalm for today “I will bless the LORD at all times; praise shall be always in my lips.”

She is the best example of how we could follow Christ. Mary understood clearly what our Gospel of today said “we could not serve both God and mammon” Mary chose to believe and serve God and God alone.

My dear brothers the reality is that we are not just ordinary Christians we are professed Salesians. We are individuals who promise to live always in the image and likeness of Christ. We wish to follow Christ radically. I think this reality asks as all the more to be like the immaculate heart. We have a sufficient grace to be like Christ. Don Bosco in his dream tells us that Jesus himself gave Mary to us to be our teacher of how to be servants for the young. We need not worry on how we will do our mission as Christians or as Salesians for through Mary we will learn what is the meaning and how to be meek and humble of heart like that of Jesus her Son.

The feast of immaculate heart is a reminder for all of us of our mission as Christians who should have a heart patterned in the heart of Christ. Brothers, this is my personal understanding of the “immaculate heart” a heart that is for God and only for God. A heart totally patterned in the heart of Jesus. As the slogan say “Jesus through Mary.” How about you my dear brothers what is the personal meaning of this feast for you?

Feast of the Body and Blood of Jesus

Mk: 14:12-14 “the Lord Supper”

After the great celebration of Easter the church celebrates series of solemnities, the ascension of Jesus in to heaven, second Pentecost when the church was born, last week we celebrated the Holy Trinity, then today we are celebrating the solemnity of the Body and blood of Jesus also known as Corpus Christi. All of these celebrations speak something about our Christian faith.

The Church celebrates the feast of the Body of Christ for this particular feast reminds us of our Vocation as Christians. We call ourselves Christians which means believers and followers of Christ Jesus. And because we wish to follow Christ we share his mission and that mission is to bring unity, to bring communion. Jesus became man, died and rose again to bring God and man together who separated because of sin. When he rose again Jesus said “peace be with you, peace is what I give to you. And right before he ascended he commanded his apostles to forgive sins. The Pascal mystery, the gift of peace and the forgiveness of sins speak about one thing and this is unity among the believers. To bring communion is the mission of Jesus.

Now what is the connection of communion with today’s solemnity? Allow me to use this analogy. When you eat something it is digested by your body. The digested food flow in your body and it becomes one with you. This is what happens when ever we partake in the Eucharist. When we eat the body of Christ we become one with Christ. But let us not forget that we are partaking in the one body of Christ. This means that all of us who partake in this communion become one. At that very moment we become one body. Jesus, you and me are one. This reality reminds all Christians about our common mission to bring unity, communion in the church and in the whole world.

The first reading presented the “covenant” made in the Old Testament as something which made them people united in God. Now Jesus in our Gospel is the new covenant who offers himself for us to partake in his body and blood: An invitation to unite ourselves with him and God. In partaking in the body and blood of Christ we build the Church, we build the kingdom.

My dear brothers and sisters the solemnity of the Body and Blood of Jesus reminds us of our identity as Christians as bearers of Christ who is the King of Peace. Let us ask ourselves, are we a sign of unity in our own family, among our relatives, our community and in our country and in the world. This is the challenge that our faith confronts us with. We are not just to be a sign of peace but giver of peace. Jesus said peace is what I give to you.